The Gay Monogamy Coach.
The Gay Monogamy Coach podcast is hosted by the life coach, CBT practitioner, workshop facilitator and author Alan Cox.
He supports gay men in understanding the emotional, psychological, and practical aspects of transitioning from casual dating to a committed, monogamous relationship, while fostering clarity, confidence, and alignment with authentic relationship goals.
Each episode will investigate an area that surrounds monogamy and is reinforced by practical life coaching techniques.
Alan can be contacted via:
gaymonogamycoach@gmail.com
Website:
www.lifecoachingempoweringgaymen.com
Episodes
139 episodes
Have you been told that monogamy means you haven't done the work?
If you are a gay man who wants one committed relationship, you may have absorbed a quieter sentence: that want means you are unfinished. That non-monogamy is the healed position. That monogamy is something to grow out of.That is not a fa...
Burnout, not chemistry. The real cost of the apps.
Did you know that George Arison, CEO of Grindr, revealed that more than half of gay men under 35 now say they want a long-term relationship — according to his own company's research, shared in a June 2026 interview with Bloomberg (onlinepersona...
Title: When your career thrives but your personal life doesn't.
You close the deal. You lead the room. Your LinkedIn looks like a man who has his life in hand.Then it is eleven at night and your thumb is already moving. Another year ends in the same place as the last one. Same man. Two operating syst...
Scrapping the Apps. Episode six. – Your Off-Grid Commitment.
Scrapping the Apps – Your Off-Grid Commitment. This is the decision episode. Alan Cox walks midlife gay men through three clear paths — full pause or quit, serious rule-bound reduction, or a defined experiment — and sho...
Scrapping the Apps – Episode 5: Reclaiming Connection.
Scrapping the Apps – Episode 5: Reclaiming Connection. Skills without a system don’t last. In this key integration episode, Alan Cox helps midlife gay men turn everything from the series into a personal Dating Operating...
Scrapping the Apps – Episode 4: Selling the Body.
Scrapping the Apps – Episode 4: Selling the Body. Dating apps intensify appearance pressure, comparison and sexual objectification — especially for midlife gay men. In this episode Alan Cox uses cognitive restructuring ...
Scrapping the Apps – Episode 3: The Infinite Scroll & the Void.
Scrapping the Apps – Episode 3: The Infinite Scroll & the Void. Why do so many gay men keep checking Grindr and other apps even when it makes them feel worse? This episode explains variable-ratio reinforcement (the ...
Scrapping the Apps – Episode 2: Safety First.
Scrapping the Apps – Episode 2: Safety First. Dating apps involve real physical risk — violence, robbery, catfishing and predatory behaviour. In this episode Alan Cox shows midlife gay men how to separate realistic caut...
Scrapping the Apps – Episode 1: Mapping the Grid.
Scrapping the Apps – Episode 1: Mapping the Grid. Are dating apps leaving you more anxious, distracted, or empty than before you opened them? In this first episode of the Scrapping the Apps series, CBT practitioner and ...
The “Unalienable” Delusion: Why midlife gay men still feel guilty for wanting monogamy
The “Unalienable” Delusion: Why midlife gay men still feel guilty for wanting monogamyMany high-achieving gay men in their forties and fifties carry a quiet cultural script: that wanting exclusive monogamy is somehow “unprogressiv...
Episode 2: The “Unalienable” Delusion: Why midlife gay men still feel guilty for wanting monogamy
The “Unalienable” Delusion: Why midlife gay men still feel guilty for wanting monogamyMany high-achieving gay men in their forties and fifties carry a quiet cultural script: that wanting exclusive monogamy is somehow “unprogressiv...
Episode 3. The Exit Ramp Epidemic.
Episode 3: The Exit Ramp EpidemicThe Exit Ramp Epidemic: Why midlife gay men keep abandoning promising relationshipsYou meet someone decent. He’s intelligent, available, and interested. Then the first real fric...
Episode 4 — The Phantom Third.
Welcome back to The Gay Monogamy Coach podcast. I’m Alan Cox, a CBT practitioner, life coach, writer, and public speaker. This podcast examines the psychological and structural realities behind gay male relationshi...
Episode 5 — Nervous System Regulation & Romantic Sanctuaries
Episode 5 — Nervous System Regulation & Romantic Sanctuaries Welcome back to The Gay Monogamy Coach podcast.I’m Alan Cox, a CBT practitioner, life coach, writer, and public speaker. This podcast examines the p...
Episode 6 — The Myth of the "Boring" Monogamist.
Episode 6 — The Myth of the “Boring” Monogamist. Welcome back to The Gay Monogamy Coach podcast. I’m Alan Cox, a CBT practitioner, life coach, writer, and public speaker. This podcast examines the psychologic...
Episode 7 — Relational Contracting: Building the Architecture of Intimacy
Episode 7 — Building Relational Architecture. Welcome back to The Gay Monogamy Coach podcast. I’m Alan Cox, a CBT practitioner, life coach, writer, and public speaker. This podcast examines the psychological and structur...
EPISODE 8. Beyond the App: Deconstructing Modern Gay Relationships.
Episode 8 — The Trauma of Perpetual Choice. Welcome back to The Gay Monogamy Coach podcast. I’m Alan Cox, a CBT practitioner, life coach, writer, and public speaker. This podcast examines the psychologi...
Episode 9. The myth of absolute independence.
Episode 9 — De-armouring Midlife Welcome back to The Gay Monogamy Coach podcast. I’m Alan Cox, a CBT practitioner, life coach, writer, and public speaker. This podcast examines the psychological and structura...
Episode Ten. Choosing the real thing.
Choosing the Real Thing. Welcome back to The Gay Monogamy Coach podcast. I’m Alan Cox, a CBT practitioner, life coach, writer, and public speaker. This podcast examines the psychological and structural reali...
The Relationship Operating System. The 90‑Day Blueprint (Putting The System Into Action).
The 90‑Day Blueprint (Putting The System Into Action).Insight without execution is just entertainment. Over six episodes you have learned why you struggle — now here is exactly how to fix it.This season finale gives you a practica...
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The Relationship Operating System. Shifting from "Dating Mode" to "Partnership Mode"
Episode 06: Shifting from "Dating Mode" to "Partnership Mode"Most successful gay men spend years vetting, testing, and auditing candidates — wondering why no one ever seems to measure up. They stay in perpetual evaluation, keep one foot ...
The Relationship Operating System. Navigating conflict and uncertainty without burning it down.
Most high‑performing gay men handle pressure beautifully at work. But in dating — the moment uncertainty, jealousy, or misunderstanding appears — they regress. They demand answers, send messages they regret, or go silent and walk away entirely....
The Monogamy Advantage: Psychological Safety & The Power of Singular Commitment.
Welcome back to The Gay Monogamy Coach with Alan Cox.In this second part of our two-part special comparing monogamous and open relationships—following on from The Liberation Lie—Alan explores The Monogamy Advantage: Ps...
The Liberation Lie: Has hook up culture & non-monogamy sold gay men a con?
Welcome back to The Gay Monogamy Coach podcast with Alan Cox.In this episode, "The Liberation Lie: Has hookup culture & non-monogamy sold gay men a con?", Alan examines the cultural narrative that frames hookup culture ...
